The Master ([info]master_13) wrote,
@ 2005-04-01 15:37:00
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Plans for universal domination going well. Have contacted 3 different groups of hostile aliens and all have expressed interest in destroying Earth, which is of course the first step in my plan because lots of humans have laughed at my beard.

However, my TARDIS has been misbehaving. She's been socialising too much with my other selves' Portaloo, and has taken to playing the most inane songs over and over while I'm trying to plot. I have had to speak quite sternly to her, which makes her sulk and take me to McDonalds when I'm trying to get to the evil planet of Tomiled 4.

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[info]tegan_lj
2005-04-02 01:24 pm UTC (link)
Try...I don't know...try bribing it with chocolate.

Works with me.

Your beard is funny looking, you know. Worse than your other self. Have you tried dyeing it?

Besides, maybe it grew a conscience and isn't going to let you take over the leather shop the Universe.

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[info]master_13
2005-04-04 05:14 am UTC (link)
It may work for you, my dear, but my TARDIS has more sophisticated tastes. I don't think she has a conscience, but I don't really know what to look for, not having one myself.

There is nothing wrong with my beard, thank you very much. I am exeptionally proud of it.

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[info]tegan_lj
2005-04-04 04:57 pm UTC (link)
Okay...imagine the ego and then take the polar opposite...

Honestly, you Time Lords...

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[info]master_13
2005-04-07 01:44 am UTC (link)
...*thinks*

Is that what a conscience is like? Rassilon, I'm glad I don't have one. No wonder the Doctor is so uptight sometimes.

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[info]tegan_lj
2005-04-07 02:53 am UTC (link)
No,...

*whispers* That's sexual repression.

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[info]master_13
2005-04-07 06:01 pm UTC (link)
*whispers*
What do you mean, sexual repression? He's got companions, doesn't he?

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[info]tegan_lj
2005-04-08 03:06 am UTC (link)
Yeah.

....

...

..

And, your point? We're offlimits,I think.

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[info]master_13
2005-04-08 03:32 am UTC (link)
Now that's a silly idea. He's got all these beautiful young women (and men) staying with him, why would you be off-limits?

Maybe I should get myself some companions...

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[info]tegan_lj
2005-04-09 09:59 am UTC (link)
Are you taking applications?

*hands on the hips* It's called the companion stigma. We're to wear high heels or speedos, ask questions, point at things and scream.

Shagging, well...that's for somebody else I think. Although the companion thing I signed didn't say anything about not getting...well...

It seems the Docs live by that...

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[info]drlongscarf
2005-04-25 10:15 am UTC (link)
You know, by the time I get to you...you're rotting out and the one right after that is a homo. I miss you. We should get together and jump off things?

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[info]master_13
2005-04-25 09:32 pm UTC (link)
Indeed, Doctor, that would be quite pleasant. Would you like to foil my evil plans?

((Sorry about the other comment. Force of habit.))

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[info]drlongscarf
2005-04-25 09:38 pm UTC (link)
Only if you promise me two things...

1) You make it an actual challenge. All I had to do last time to foil you was throw you into the eye of harmony (which you escaped from) and fall off a radio telescope (which again you escaped from...your tardis frustrates me too)

2) Promise me to not look at you in crushed velvet and then tell you that you don't look fat AND not to look all skeleton like. Rotting corpses smell and ruin the taste of a good Gin & Tonic.

Other than that, I would be quite pleased to foil your evil plans. You did have me worried there, I thought that you might have turned into a kitten.

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[info]master_13
2005-04-25 09:49 pm UTC (link)
You want a challenge, do you? That's novel. Should I introduce a race of hyper-powerful beings from the far edges (geographical and chronological) of the universe who are immune to everything humans can possibly throw against them?

And I'm not even going to mention comment number two.

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[info]drlongscarf
2005-04-25 09:56 pm UTC (link)
Ahh to have you back again *scarfy hugs*.

Alright, didn't you try that with the chronovores once already? Besides...what could be worse than having to listen to Adric's rendition on "The Eyes of E-Space" or some such unharmonious crap.

Would you like a jelly baby?

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[info]master_13
2005-04-25 10:02 pm UTC (link)
Damn. I did try that before, didn't I?

And I've never had a jelly baby before, though I'll certainly try one.
*takes jelly baby*
*eats*
*eyes bulge (though not as much as the Doctor's)*

Dear Rassilon! I can certainly see why you like those so much.

And 'The Eyes of E-Space' is bad enough when done properly, let alone mangled by some teenaged alien, don't you find that?

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[info]drlongscarf
2005-04-25 10:05 pm UTC (link)
They're quite good. You can't have an orange one though. You're not ready for an orange one. *hides away orange jelly baby*

Yes, fortunately enough I don't have to put up with him for very long. Soon after I get him, he goes right on to five. It's like moving from one foster TARDIS to another.

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[info]master_13
2005-04-25 10:25 pm UTC (link)
This is very important, Doctor. It's stupid, but I'm going to have to trust you here. Don't let me down. Make sure you tell me when I'm ready for the orange ones.

See, that's a good thing about having no companions. I don't get stuck with anyone annoying. Of course, if I want a shag I have to wait until I turn into yourfutureruler, but it's almost worth it in the end.

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