urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:master_13 The Master The Master 2005-12-17T04:30:07Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:master_13:1238 2005-12-17T04:30:07Z 2005-12-17T04:30:07Z As I cannot be beaten in villainy by a mere Dalek, I have taken this pathetic 'meme' or whatever the feeble word is, and proven beyond doubt that I am truly evil.<br /><br /><table width="500" style="border:1px solid black; background-color:white; color:black;"><tr><td><img src="http://triggur.org/dearsanta/santa.gif"><font size="6">Dear Santa...</font><br><br><b>Dear Santa,</b><br><br>This year I've been busy!<br><br>In November on a flight to Colorado Springs, I stole the emergency flight information card <font size="-3" color="gray">(-40 points)</font>. Last Saturday <span class='ljuser ljuser-name_barbarella69' lj:user='barbarella69' style='white-space: nowrap;'><a href='http://barbarella69.livejournal.com/profile'><img src='http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif' alt='[info]' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /></a><a href='http://barbarella69.livejournal.com/'><b>barbarella69</b></a></span> and I donated clothes to the needy <font size="-3" color="gray">(11 points)</font>. In February I committed genocide... Sorry about that, <span class='ljuser ljuser-name_tegan_lj' lj:user='tegan_lj' style='white-space: nowrap;'><a href='http://tegan-lj.livejournal.com/profile'><img src='http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif' alt='[info]' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /></a><a href='http://tegan-lj.livejournal.com/'><b>tegan_lj</b></a></span> <font size="-3" color="gray">(-5000 points)</font>. In March I farted in an elevator <font size="-3" color="gray">(-6 points)</font>. In May I broke <span class='ljuser ljuser-name_evelyn_smythe' lj:user='evelyn_smythe' style='white-space: nowrap;'><a href='http://evelyn-smythe.livejournal.com/profile'><img src='http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif' alt='[info]' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /></a><a href='http://evelyn-smythe.livejournal.com/'><b>evelyn_smythe</b></a></span>'s X-Box <font size="-3" color="gray">(-12 points)</font>. <br><br>Overall, I've been <b>naughty</b> <font size="-3" color="gray">(-5047 points)</font>. For Christmas I deserve <b>a lump of coal</b>!<br><br><blockquote>Sincerely,<br>master_13</blockquote></td></tr></table><br><form action="http://triggur.org/dearsanta/">Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:<input type="text" name="uname" size="20"><input type="submit" value="Write Santa!"></form><br /><br />Oh. Umm. I am the Master and you will obey me... you will forget about the clothes... and the fart. Time Lords certainly do not fart. Especially not ones of such diabolical ingenuity like myself. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:master_13:779 2005-04-01T05:49:40Z 2005-04-01T05:49:40Z Plans for universal domination going well. Have contacted 3 different groups of hostile aliens and all have expressed interest in destroying Earth, which is of course the first step in my plan <strike>because lots of humans have laughed at my beard</strike>.<br /><br />However, my TARDIS has been misbehaving. She's been socialising too much with my other selves' Portaloo, and has taken to playing the most inane songs over and over while I'm trying to plot. I have had to speak quite sternly to her, which makes her sulk and take me to McDonalds when I'm trying to get to the evil planet of Tomiled 4. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:master_13:631 2005-03-13T01:45:15Z 2005-03-13T01:45:15Z *TARDIS materialization sounds*<br /><br />Ah, it seems that I have finally made it. My apologies for being so late, I was making alliances with aliens more powerful than you can comprehend and enticing them to come destroy this puny planet Earth. So actually, I haven't been doing anything new or unusual.<br /><br />Never mind, I will soon destroy the Doctors and this planet and will hypnotize the better-looking 'companions' into my mindless slaves.<br /><br />But I think I will have lunch first.